I sat on my sofa for a few hours, trying to define what the heck was happening to me. It was my thirtieth birthday. Big things were happening. Things that varied greatly from what was happening, say on my twenty fifth birthday. To sort it out, I wrote a post. It was a hit. It’s called, Goodbye, Roaring Twenties. Today, I’m still thirty, but now I’m over half way through it, and I’ve gained a sense of expertise.
These “things” are now happening full force, and sometimes it’s really tough facing the fact that you can’t go to work with sand on your ankles and salt in your hair like you used to (I’d surf in the morning and then rush off to work). Sometimes it’s the biggest relief ever, being thirty. There’s less of that “do or die” or “who am I?” going on. There’s a little more money, more confidence and less f*%k ups. There’s more than one way to know you are thirty, and these are just a few I’ve learned along the way.
30 Sure Signs that You’re Thirty
2. You never forget to wash your hands after using the bathroom.
3. If you put even the smallest amount of thought into what you wear to the grocery store even if just to buy milk (who knows who you might run into, darn it), you’re probably thirty.
5. Your parents come to you to look for answers sometimes.
6. You don’t drink to get drunk, but you find yourself sneaking a glass of wine or a beer with dinner regularly.
7. You don’t fear seeing lines on your face; you see them.
8. Strangers refer to you as “ma’am” or “sir” rather than “miss” or “buddy.”
9. Movies that cracked you up in college now bore you or make you nauseous.
11. You feel a tiny bit guilty if you sleep passed 9am on your days off.
12. You are a parent, you have friends that are parents, or you can imagine yourself as a parent.
14. You watch people doing things you used to do like playing beach volleyball drunk or skateboarding with their backpacks on, and suddenly you feel tired, almost glad that you’re thirty.
15. You have a business card.
16. You know what not to do in most situations.
17. If you meet a celebrity or if you were to meet one, you wouldn’t squeal, hug and then pass out, you’d shake the star’s hand and try to give him or her some space.
19. You laugh with others about what idiots you were when you were 23, but inside you feel incredibly embarrassed and really have no idea why you thought it was a good idea to be an ice cube for Halloween.
20. You aren’t afraid to say “no” to your parents; in fact, you even feel like you know more than they do sometimes.
21. You own a house or you want to own a house– a place with your name on it.
22. You don’t know yet what you’re doing this weekend.
23. You do know that you’ll try to get some rest.
24. You think before you spend.
25. You don’t think about looking hot; you think about looking powerful.
26. Making a deadline is no longer impossible.
27. You know what you should drink, what doesn’t make your stomach upset and which snacks hold you over the longest.
29. You wonder why you used to think being thirty is old.
30. You don’t want to let people down, so you don’t 🙂
I’m so pleased to announce that three of my poems, “Slots,” “Scraping” and “Make a Decision” have been published in Barking Sycamores Literary Magazine Issue 13. Barking Sycamores is dedicated to neurodivergent literature and its craft. I’m so honored to be a part of this project. Barking Sycamores Issue 13
A stereotype as defined by Merriam-Webster is “an often unfair and untrue belief that many people have about all people or things with a particular characteristic.” Colloquially, the term, stereotype, “is used to categorize a group of people. People don’t understand that type of person, so they put them into classifications, thinking that everyone who […]
Susan J. Fowler, a former employee of Uber, published a post on her blog revealing numerous counts of sexual harassment and discrimination she experienced while working for the company. Her post is straightforward and pretty bias-free; her tone is calm, but frank. While some of her experiences at the company might appall readers, her author’s […]