It seems that my fiancé and I have discovered the perfect ice cream cone. You most likely remember from a previous post, Interior Designing with your Other Half, I compared decorating with a significant other to swirling two flavors of ice cream together that should eventually result in a delicious dessert, a two toned ice cream cone.
Before my other half and I moved in together, I was used to living in a completely self-serving environment.
In other words, there were Marilyn Monroe vintage images framed in gold, Victorian mermaids, finished and unfinished paintings of mine sprinkled around, coloring pencils on the floor next to my bed, empty wine bottles waiting to be recycled, and every piece of furniture was also a potential bed for my dog.
Now, I’ve had to make some adjustments, such as deconstructing what was basically a shrine to Marilyn Monroe and offer that little table be used as a nightstand for him, which is the table’s rightful purpose anyway. I watched him gather our paintings and actually display them in a presentable fashion on our library. And I’ve said good bye to waiting about two weeks before I walk over to the public recycling can. Also, Ice Cream, my dog, now sleeps in a lifted doggie bed. So, she still lives in luxury, but now it’s more refined 🙂
It has been hard not to drop my briefcase in the entrance, throw my day’s clothes on the floor and leave my toothbrush resting next to the sink. I’ll admit too, it took me a few days to get used to the guitar amp underneath my pink Art Deco vase and the dark, modern lamp next to the bed (my dainty candelabra looks strange next to it). It was hard not to make a face; maybe I did make a face. Either way, I didn’t say anything. I appreciate it’s soft glow now which is very even, and it reminds me of my grandfather’s home office. The amp adds spark to the formal decor above it.
I’ve learned a few techniques on my own throughout this move for adjusting to the company and tastes of another.
Tips on Adjusting to Living with your Significant Other
1. Wait a few days before you say anything. Chances are you will adapt, and if you still disapprove, you can tell your partner that you did try to give it a chance.
2. Compliment his/her additions to the table. It’s reassuring, generous and loving.
3. Suggest tossing one of your staples out and going together to purchase a new one. He/she will feel validated and hopefully less disappointed when you suggest doing the same for one of his/her staple items.
4. Think outside your box. There is no “your box” anymore. Reformat your style as a fusion of yours and your significant other’s style.
5. Brainstorm, research and share ideas together. This way, it becomes a collaborative creative project, and you get to spend quality time together.
6. Designate potential “my space” areas for those times you each need your space. Typically, if I need space, I hang out in the bedroom, which is where I rested when I lived alone anyway. My other half doesn’t particularly like lounging around the bed during the day, so this works well for us. When I need a power nap or an hour of Gilmore Girls, I can just go to the fluffy bed, light my candelabra and sip on some hot tea knowing my other half is just as content as me.
I’m so pleased to announce that three of my poems, “Slots,” “Scraping” and “Make a Decision” have been published in Barking Sycamores Literary Magazine Issue 13. Barking Sycamores is dedicated to neurodivergent literature and its craft. I’m so honored to be a part of this project. Barking Sycamores Issue 13
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