The word, “guys,” is so misleading. Let’s face it, there’s no equivalent word for females. We use the word, “girls” in the same way that we use the word, “guys,” but if we decided to be accurate, the term “girls” would be paired with “boys.” “Guys” is like this in between man and boy thing; I typically perceive “guys” to be around early twenties to mid thirties. The reality is, these guys are men– full grown, face-shaving, mature and aware men. However, calling these men, “guys,” leaves way too much room for misrepresentation.
Socially, we hold vastly different perspectives and expectations of guys than we do of men. Without getting into too much detail (this could probably be a whole other post), “guys” seem to get away with more troublesome behaviors than “men.” That being said, there are more than a few guys to avoid, particularly in the realm of your love life.
8 Guys to Stay Far Far Away From (I should note that this list is a creative compiling of my own experiences and is in no way expert or researched. Keep in mind some of these guys can overlap.)
1. The Body Builder. Here’s a nickname I’ve coined for any man that spends enormous amounts of time in the gym, enormous amounts of money on protein shakes, and hoards more than three hair styling products. Typically, this guy likes your looks a lot, which can be enjoyably flattering, until…you lose or gain a few too many pounds, decide to cut your hair, not wear makeup or catch a gnarly cold. Suddenly, you’re trapped in a bucket of criticism, which then becomes self-criticism tangled up with the hunt for “good enough.”
2. The Mama’s Boy. These guys usually have a conversation with their mothers more than once a day; the texting is infinite. The mama’s boy will mention his mom a lot, sometimes oddly, for example, right after you order your jack and coke, he says, “my mom’s favorite drink is the vodka gimlet.” If he already has a woman, he doesn’t have as much time and energy for you. Next thing you know, you will be stuck on his boat trying to make his mom happy too.
3. The Know-It-All. This is a man who is very persuasive. He probably convinced you to go out with him. He knows best (in his mind) basically about everything. At first, he might even seem impressive, you know, knowing everything. Give it time– soon you will start to feel like you literally can’t do anything well. You’ll forget how you used to like your coffee. You may find yourself scared of parallel parking without him giving directions in the car. You’ll start to see your own way of thinking and problem-solving as inadequate.
4. The Woman Hater. Dude, these guys straight up hate women in multiple ways. They’ll blurt out degrading remarks about women on television or their own colleagues. They love words like, “slut,” “cu#t,” “fa^got,” “b!tch,” or “pu$$y” in social conversation. Usually you will get the pleasure of witnessing him be really rude to a woman stranger like a server or bank teller. He’ll talk about how incompetent she was on the way home. Little do you know, that soon he will be calling you incompetent and projecting whatever mean fetish or post traumatic disorder habit that he picked up from his own abusive ex onto you. (Run.)
5. The Going Nowhere. He’ll probably be pretty attractive and have some great sense of style. He’s got an awesome talent in drumming, or skateboarding, free-styling, or making you laugh. He has some shiny swag, maybe even a nice car and suave social skills. But…he’s always asking for money. You have no idea what he does all day while your at work. He talks a lot about going back to school, but doesn’t. When he does take you out, it’s typically on another buddy’s dime. Not only do you become emotionally drained, but also broke.
6. The Psycho. His arguments make no sense to most besides other psychos. He gets pissed easily at people, including you, for reasons you don’t understand. He’s punched a wall or two. He’s had more jobs in the past five years than you’ve ever had. He makes demands, loves weapons, belligerent music; he doesn’t work out, and he doesn’t feel bad for any cats or squirrels he’s “accidentally” run over. He thinks charity enables laziness. Soon, you will find he has no sympathy or empathy for you either.
8. The Stalker. One text a day becomes nine a day within the span of a week. Morning calls become the norm. Constant check-ins. Surprise visits. Mysterious “running-intos.” He’s liked more than seven photos of you on facebook, half of which are six years old (which means he really looked through your stuff). All the boundaries you set are his favorite things to jump over. You simply can’t get away from this guy.
When you find yourself thinking twice about if a man’s behavior was odd or mean-spirited, tune in to these instincts.
Remember there are many fish in the sea, so there’s no need to settle on any weak species.
Have you ever had an experience with any of these guys? Who do you recommend we steer clear of?
I’m so pleased to announce that three of my poems, “Slots,” “Scraping” and “Make a Decision” have been published in Barking Sycamores Literary Magazine Issue 13. Barking Sycamores is dedicated to neurodivergent literature and its craft. I’m so honored to be a part of this project. Barking Sycamores Issue 13
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